Sir Auditor UviesherheToday’s article aims at enlightening you on various ways to build self confidence and positive self esteem.
Self-esteem is the overall sense of feeling that determines how you view yourself.
Imagine the great feeling that comes with standing on a stage and people clapping for you.
It leaves you with a good taste in your mouth that you feel so proud and happy about yourself.
That approval and energy from the crowd clapping for you makes you feel so good. In other words, it helps you build a positive self-esteem.
Self confidence is an optimistic belief in yourself or your ability that spurs you to take action and courageous steps.
Self confidence is the fragrance that people first perceive about you, even before you speak or act.
But, here is the problem. Keep reading to find out the problem.
The Challenge
In life, you don’t always climb the stage every day or people clap for you at all times.
It is a pointer that people contribute to an extent in building positive self-esteem.
Most often, you have the major work of deliberately boosting your positive self-esteem.
Are you struggling to believe in yourself and what you can do? You feel that everyone else is better than you and as such they deserve more while you deserve less.
You want people to believe in you and give you a chance but you do not believe in yourself.
If you are wearing this shoe, it simply means that you lack confidence and positive self esteem.
To smash your goals and get the best in life, you must build your confidence.
Here are seven ways to build your self confidence and develop positive self esteem.
1. Identify your areas of strength
Everybody is different and you are not an exemption.
In the same way that some students enjoy studying sciences while others prefer art, you also have things that you enjoy doing that produce exceptional results.
These are your areas of strength and you need to focus on them.
Your area of strength could be exceptional skill, talent, knowledge, attribute, capability, trait, and virtue. It is what differentiates you from the crowd and keeps you distinct.
The knowledge of your strength gives you a positive energy and feeling about yourself.
This great feeling enables you to keep your head high and equally boosts your confidence.
Instead of focusing on your weaknesses, pay attention to your strengths while improving your weaknesses.
That way, you get to build positive self esteem and increase your confidence level.
2. Appreciate your uniqueness
Aside from identifying your area of strength to build your confidence, you need to also appreciate your uniqueness.
After coming to terms that there is something special about you, then learn to appreciate your uniqueness.
The way you admire the hero in a movie, learn to deliberately admire and appreciate your unique ability.
Be grateful for your special endowments and achievements because you are one of a kind.
Staying grateful for the unique you is one way to drive out insecurity and boost your confidence.
Instead of feeling weird that you are short, choose to see the beauty in your height.
You know, you get to be in front while performing in the mass choir on a stage and be spotted as a talent. That’s an advantage!
3. Celebrate Your Wins
You can be trapped in the illusion that everyone else is making it big, while you are stagnant.
This mindset can cripple your confidence. To avoid this illusion, don’t wait to achieve a remarkable feat before you celebrate your wins.
There are things you achieve daily that are worth celebrating. From marking out the activities on your To-Do-List to completing an Online course.
Celebrating yourself for each win, helps you build high self-esteem and be energized to do more.
Remember that you are your number one fan and Cheerleader. So, you are the best person to celebrate yourself before others around you can follow suit.
Always remember that you are as good as the person you are admiring. All you need to do is to sharpen yourself.
4. Forgive Your Past
A haunting past with scars of mistakes can leave you in the dungeon of self-doubt.
You messed up the other time, likewise everyone else. Making mistakes and corrections are still learning processes.
You can’t move forward if you are holding onto unforgiveness, and guilt is eating you deep.
To forgive yourself, you have to acknowledge and admit your mistakes. Pinpoint what went wrong and make decisions to correct it if possible.
Genuinely accept to take responsibility for the consequences of your past actions.
Be kind to yourself and acknowledge the new you.
Your decision to forgive, get things right, and live better will usher you to a new light and life.
You get to do things differently, live your best, and build your self-esteem.
5. Make Affirmations
Since the wrong words can leave you hurting and devastated, it is time to boost your self confidence with the right words of affirmation.
Get top-notch positive self-esteem through speaking and thinking positive things about yourself.
Speak powerful and positive proclamations like:
- I am beautiful and strong,
- I am bold and can do this,
- Today is a productive day and I am a winner,
- I am achieving all that my mind conceives,
- I am coming out stronger,
- Good things are coming my way, and
- I thrive in every situation of life.
In speaking positive words to build your self-esteem, always compliment yourself, keep the company of positive people, and exhibit gratitude.
Speak aloud these affirmations for your mind to conceive it and your heart to accept it.
Make it a daily routine to make positive affirmations as they configure your mind to see yourself through the right lens.
Other benefits of positive affirmations include making you positive and happy, easing stress, and generally improving your self-esteem.
It is also a good tip to improve your communication skills.
6. Stop The Comparison
Unhealthy comparison causes low self-esteem and depression.
Since no two individuals are alike in everything, your success, timing, and life will not be the same with another person.
Comparing yourself with your peers will dampen your spirit and morale.
For this reason, stop the comparison! Unhealthy comparison keeps you feeling like a failure, vulnerable, and angry. Instead of comparing yourself, choose to be self-aware.
Acknowledge, accept, and understand that you are unique.
Understanding that being short is an advantage, your skin colour makes you unique, and your tall height makes you remarkable will boost your confidence to face life fearlessly.
7. Find Love within yourself
Humans enjoy seeking approval and love from people. Oftentimes, you feel disappointed and terrible if you don’t get such approval.
This destroys your self-esteem, exposing you to many dangers. But, why desperately seek love outside, if you can find love within you?
To boost your self-confidence and increase your self-esteem, you need to embrace yourself.
Look within you and find things to love about you. Come to terms that you are as good as the person you are admiring.
There is something to love about you. You need to find that and embrace it.
Finding love within yourself is not instant. It happens over a period especially if you have insecurity about yourself.
To easily find something to love about you and increase your positive self esteem, you need to:
Show more kindness to yourself:
For some people, it is easy to be kind to others and mean to oneself. Cultivate the habit of showing kindness and compassion to yourself. In showing kindness to yourself, you rest your body, eat good food, live a healthy lifestyle, and stay positive.
Show gratitude:
While you hope that your big dream comes through, stay grateful for your million little miracles. Being grateful gives you hope for the future and makes you self confident.
Think and speak positively:
Life has so many uncertainties. But, you have to think and speak right. Positive thinking keeps you in a healthy mental state to overcome in life.
Learn to say no:
Saying no to pressure and loved ones can be scary. Since, there is always the option to say yes or no, learn to say no when need be. It saves you from doing things that hurt you and destroys your self-esteem.
Lavish yourself with love:
Choose to lavish the same love you have for people, on yourself. You deserve love too. So, don’t withhold it.
Three Books to Help Build Your Self Esteem
1) 10 Simple Solutions for Building Self-esteem – How to End Self-doubt, Gain Confidence and Create a Positive Self image by Glenn R. Schiraldi (phD)
The author first of all demystifies some myths about self esteem. With this foundation, he shared deep insights about the psychology of self esteem, how to deal with your confidence crushers and ways to build great self esteem.
With practical exercises to help you intentionally apply the solutions shared in the book in your life, you get to enjoy and feel confident about the things you do.
If you are struggling to build self esteem due to unclear understanding between overconfidence, self absorbed, and self esteem, then this book is all you need.
2. Feel the fear… and do it anyways by Sussan Jeffers (PhD)
The book “Feel the fear… and do it anyways” approaches fear as a problem of education and orientation instead of the angle of psychology.
Typical everyday life examples shared in the book make it relatable and easy to read.
Sussan also addresses certain fears humans experience when making life-changing decisions and approaching certain phases of life.
The book highlights the “I can handle it” belief system as your weapon to confront and cripple fear.
Taking action to do what you are afraid of doing enables you to get rid of fear.
Consistent speaking of the right words of power shifts you from the place of fear to the centre of power.
The journey to building positive self esteem is indeed a lifetime commitment to face your fears and push through them. Therefore, feel the fear and do it anyway.
3) The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance — What Women Should Know by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman
This book challenges women to be confident in whatever they do even in taking and functioning in public offices.
The authors took us through their various experiences with other women who portrayed self confidence and those who lacked it.
They also pointed out that ambitious women need to intentionally develop their self confidence.
Furthermore, the book made clear distinctions and interrelationships between confidence and self esteem. Confidence is tied to an achievement while self esteem is based on feelings.
If you are a woman who needs guidance on how to build self confidence and rule your world in a male-dominated world, “the confidence code” is a must for you.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Is building self-esteem worth it?
Building self esteem is a worthwhile venture as it positively influences how you approach life. It also influences how people perceive and receive you.
2. How can I build my self confidence?
To build your self confidence, you need to find love within yourself, forgive your past mistakes, embrace your uniqueness, make affirmations, stop unhealthy comparisons, and acknowledge your strength.
3. What books would you recommend?
- Books to read that can help you boost your self confidence include Feel the Fear… and do it anyways by Sussan Jeffers (PhD),
- 10 Simple Solutions for Building Self-esteem – How to End Self-doubt, Gain Confidence and Create a Positive self image by Glenn R. Schiraldi (PhD), and
- The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance — What Women should know by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman.
Conclusion on Building Positive Confidence and Self Esteem
Your self-esteem is as important as your staying alive. The ways to build self confidence and positive self-esteem include finding love within yourself, acknowledging your strength and celebrating your wins and achievements.
Since people can leave you feeling insecure with low self esteem through their demeaning words and silent treatment, intentionally adopt proactive ways to build your self confidence and positive self esteem.
Remember to always be kind to yourself, think and speak positively, learn to say no, and always be grateful.
This way, you can be sure to build a positive self-esteem that will help you soar in life.
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