11 Ways You Can Practice Self-Love

One of the hilarious things among humans is how we often focus on loving others when we have not considered loving ourselves. Have you ever stopped to consider that you can’t truly love someone else until you’ve learned to love yourself? As a Latin phrase says, “Nemo Dat Quod Non Habet.” It means you can’t give what you don’t have. Practicing self-love is the foundation upon which all other relationships are built.

Think about your morning routine. When you wake up with a bad morning breath, you naturally hesitate to speak closely with others until you’ve brushed your teeth. This simple example reveals a deeper truth: our relationship with ourselves directly impacts how we interact with others.

Just like you can’t confidently engage with others until you’ve taken care of your hygiene, you can’t truly love others until you’ve learned to love yourself. It’s not just a feel-good quote – it’s a fundamental principle of human connection.

In this article, we’ll explore what self-love means and 11 effective ways to practice it.

What is Self-Love?

Self-love means appreciating, valuing, and paying attention to yourself. It’s both intrinsic and extrinsic. It includes the words you speak to yourself, the gifts you give yourself, how you care for yourself, the boundaries you set for yourself, etc.

Why is Self-Love Important?

Self-love determines your relationship with yourself. If you have ever seen a movie where a mother loves a child and hates the other, you can picture the actions of the mother toward the loved one as against the hated one. This is also true for humans. Your self-love first affects how you relate to yourself. Then, as I stressed earlier, self-love is important because it transcends into your relationship with people. If you find it hard to forgive yourself for certain actions, you’ll likely find it hard to forgive others too.

11 Ways to Practice Self-Love

1. Keep a Gratitude Journal:

Tony Robbins once said, “What is wrong is available, and so is what is right. You can either choose to focus on what is wrong or focus on what is right.” But one thing is certain: what you focus on expands. Have you ever fixed your thoughts on something and got it? I’m sure you have experienced this many times. What about when you were worried about something? You eventually manifested your worries. It was just like the story of Job in the Bible. During his suffering and ordeal, he said, “What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me.” The truth is that many things we experience are self-fulfilling prophecies.

However, keeping a gratitude journal helps you focus on what you already have and opens you to receiving more. That is, you fix your thoughts on what you have, and you are open to receiving more of what you already have. As I said earlier, what you focus on expands. Keeping a gratitude journal also activates positive emotions and helps you feel good.

Keeping a gratitude journal helps you appreciate and value yourself more, enabling you to love yourself more. What can you appreciate yourself for? It can be as little as the features of your body. Some time ago, a Facebook influencer asked her audience about the part of their body they appreciated the most. Some people talked about their intelligent minds, some about their heights, and others spoke about their attractive body features. It was a beautiful post that spread the fragrance of self-love.

Imagine if it transcends beyond the post and those people keep a journal to appreciate those things they highlighted. And they make it a constant practice to write down what they are grateful for. Their love for themselves will greatly increase. Even when negativity creeps in, they can refer to what they are thankful for to remind themselves what to focus on.

2. Learn How to Say No:

One of the ways you portray self-love is knowing when to say no. Many people have torn out the word “no” from their dictionaries. You should add it back to your dictionary if you have removed it. Learning to reject what doesn’t sit well with you is one of the ways you practice self-love.

I once listened to a podcast that hosted an entrepreneur and influencer, Alex Hormozi, as the guest. On that podcast, he mentioned that he attended a hangout in a city. Of course, as a popular figure, people are bound to recognise him. At the hangout, a podcaster recognised him and asked if he could feature on his show as a guest on a particular date. He told the podcaster to hold on so he could check his calendar. He checked his calendar and saw that he had a free day. He then told the person that he had a free day but he wouldn’t be able to show up for the show. That shows a high level of self-love. Even though his schedule was free, he rejected it because he never had it in his plan. He preferred having that free time for himself than showing up at the show. If he was a people-pleaser, he wouldn’t want to let the podcaster down and would agree to go to the show, even when he could have turned down the request. While it’s good to help others and go out for them, learn to say no. Don’t say yes to everything. This is one of the ways you practice self-love.

3. Give up on Comparison:

Comparison is the thief of joy. You could be grateful for all you have and thankful for how far you have come this minute, but you get sad when you compare your achievements with another person’s achievements in the next minute. The once vibrant face suddenly looks sullen because of comparison. One of the ways you show yourself love is by quitting comparison. Quit comparing yourself with others. Your journey is different from other people’s journeys. You can’t expect to grow at the same pace as other people. Even if you and someone entered an industry together, the person’s learning curve and journey might be faster than yours. Likewise, your journey might be more rapid than the other person’s.

But even if you want to compare, it should be with your past self, not with other people. This is something you can control. This kind of comparison motivates and inspires you to do more.

4. Be Realistic with Your Goals:

Sometimes, you put yourself under unnecessary pressure with the kind of goals you set. Yes, you should dream big dreams and have big goals. But there is a reason why people say you should set SMART goals, don’t you think? One of the acronyms for SMART goals is realistic. That means your goals should be realistic. I know you want to be seen as a goal-getter and big dreamer, but you should also understand that there is a difference between fantasy and goal. Realistic means seeing things as they are and dealing with them sensibly. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you shouldn’t stretch yourself, but while stretching yourself, set realistic goals.

5. Forgive Yourself:

Humans are prone to mistakes. That’s why we are called humans. One of the unified identifiers of humans is making mistakes. No matter how much of a perfectionist someone is, the person will still make mistakes. That is the natural tendency of every human. So, when you make mistakes, forgive yourself just as you would forgive others. This is one of the ways to practice self-love. Accept that you made a mistake, but don’t judge yourself. Accept that frailty part of you and forgive yourself. Don’t hold on to the guilt and shame of making that mistake. Instead, take note of it and don’t repeat them. As the statement goes, “Once beaten, twice shy.”

6. Set Healthy Boundaries:

When you prioritize self-love, you create healthy boundaries for yourself and between yourself and others. Many years ago, a gospel musician was approached by a record label to make a certain decision, but he declined their offer because he couldn’t cross that boundary. You practice self-love by setting healthy boundaries between yourself and others.

Boundaries give room for healthy and thriving relationships. You show that you appreciate and value yourself when people know you can’t cross some lines and they can’t cross some lines when they are around you. People have abused privileges and access because of the absence of boundaries. Likewise, many relationships have been lost because there were no boundaries in place. But with the right boundaries, your relationship with yourself and others will thrive and blossom. You should start setting healthy boundaries today.

7. Try New Things:

One way you practice self-love is by trying new things. For you, this could be trying a new restaurant alone, going to the museum, seeing a movie at the cinema, trying a new food recipe, getting yourself a new phone, going for a hike, attending a live concert, etc. Try new things and get new experiences; it strengthens your self-love and increases your self-esteem.

8. Be Vulnerable:

Vulnerability is a key part of self-love. Don’t bottle up your feelings. You should come to an awareness that you will need help at every point. You can’t live life alone. Hence, you should have trusted people with whom you can pour out your feelings. Vulnerability is not a weakness; it is a strength. It is knowing that you need the help and comfort of people at every point in time. Talking about your feelings and not pretending you are fine shows that you value yourself enough to ensure that you maintain your sanity. That is a deep amount of self-love right there.

9. Take Care of Yourself:

Many people work for money rather than the other way around. While I understand the place of delayed gratification, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take care of yourself right now. You don’t have to be frivolous in spending to care for yourself.

Eat good food, wear good clothes and shoes, take care of your skin, wear good colognes, engage in mental and physical exercise, buy gifts for yourself, etc. When you care for yourself, you practice self-love.

10. Celebrate Small Wins:

While aiming for the moon is good, you should celebrate the stars you meet on the way. For every big goal you have, there will always be small goals you’ll crush to get there. Without them, you’ll never achieve the big goal. Big goals are made up of hundreds of small goals. One of the ways to practice self-love is by celebrating each milestone you achieve. You show that you appreciate the efforts you put in when you celebrate yourself. The goal is not to make you relaxed or feel proud of your achievements, but to encourage you to do more.

11. Compliment Yourself:

One of the most underrated communication skills is giving compliments. Many people are fond of speaking negative words to themselves. They keep telling themselves they are dumb, unwise, unintelligent, can’t read the room, etc.

However, what do you think will happen when they change their words? We know what you are thinking about when you speak. The Bible says, “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.” That is, your words are reflections of the thoughts in your heart. So, you can practice self-love by speaking kind words to yourself and complimenting yourself. Tell yourself how proud you are of your journey, shower yourself with sweet compliments and kind words, and tell yourself how intelligent and amazing you are. Don’t wait to be validated by other people’s words or opinions. Be your first validator. Before someone tells you that you are beautiful, you should have heard that over and over again from yourself. Learn to compliment yourself.

Conclusion

In a world where people seem to lose themselves in a war to be loved by others, cultivating and practicing self-love will shield you from falling into the trap of waiting for validation. With the tips discussed in this article, you can start practicing self-love. You don’t have to apply every point discussed in this article (even though they will all benefit you); choose the one that fits your personality and run with it. Did you get value? Share it with other people